5 Lies My Anxiety Tells Me

Oh, anxiety. It means well. Those heart palpitations are great when your kid is seconds away from plunging off the couch. You weren’t planning on an ER trip, yet you can see it! You know your little one is about to crack their head open. But what if those feelings of danger don’t go away? What if your racing heart and sweaty palms start to become part of your personality? You’re dwelling on what you said the last time someone held the door open for you. Now you’re up at 2 a.m. fixating on what they have long since forgotten. Before you know it, you start thinking of every stupid thing you’ve ever said. Oh! Like that time in first grade! You’ve been saying stupid things since first grade. Now you’re convinced all you do is radiate stupidity. Your friends and family only talk to you to witness the fountain of craziness spewing from your mouth. Truth be told, they actually hate you. Congratulations, your whole life is a charade. Sorry it took a late-night anxious rumination to figure it out. 

I have to tell you something. Promise you won’t think I’m crazy?

Your anxiety is lying to you.  

While I am just a lady on the internet, my anxiety lies to me, too. Every day. I spend a good majority of the day trying to undo its lies. Up until recently, I never realized how many it told me. Anxiety feeds us these lies and distorts the way we see ourselves. It’s no coincidence that people who struggle with anxiety often have low self-esteem. Every time it successfully lies, it takes a little piece of our confidence down with it. If your anxiety is anything like mine, it’s a real Debbie Downer. It reminds me of Edith from Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. If you haven’t seen the movie, Edith constantly tells Dewey he’s a failure, even though he reached fame and success at the age of 15.

Image of Edith from Walk Hard, caption reads "you're never gonna make it, okay?"
Photo credit: http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/9200000/Kristen-in-Walk-Hard-kristen-wiig-9274603-500-281.jpg, edited by me!

Thanks for believing in me, anxiety. 

These lies all come from somewhere but there’s good news. They don’t have to control us forever. When we catch our anxiety lying to us, we can fight back. Here are the 5 lies my anxiety tells me.

1. I’m not safe.

This is my anxiety’s favorite one. While it’s normal for us to feel unsettled from time to time, we should have at least one place where we feel safe. People who have experienced assault, sexual assault, accidents, or natural disasters often struggle to find a place where they feel safe from harm. A big one for me is feeling unsafe in any type of moving vehicle. From a logical standpoint, it makes sense. I’ve been in a handful of car accidents. When I was eight, a boat wreck nearly took my life. Every time I’m in a vehicle (or let’s be honest, when I’m planning a trip, or even thinking about riding in a car, etc.), I relive these accidents in my head.

The types of statements we hear growing up can affect the way we view the world, too. I’m sure the safety freak babysitter who told my brother and me blankets would kill us and all people at the door were incognito rapists didn’t help my poor sense of safety, either. 

2. I can’t trust you.

Trust does not come easy for anxious people. If your anxiety stems from previous trauma, you may have learned to keep people at a distance. Distance is safe–vulnerability is not. If we can’t control who might hurt us, we take our control back in different ways. We might become more guarded and have a hard time letting others into our lives. If an anxious person opens up to someone and feels invalidated, this lie becomes more powerful. Inability to trust can cause serious problems in relationships. This lack of trust can explain why some anxiety sufferers struggle to ask for help. We’d rather wear ourselves down than risk asking for help and feel rejection’s sting. When we accomplish the task we refused help for, anxiety feeds us the next lie, which is…

3. I’m not good enough.

So many of us battle the not good enoughs. The moment we have a minor setback, we dwell on all of the reasons we’re not good enough. You started the day with a rejection email for the job you were sure you’d get. The waitress forgot to refill your Cherry Coke twice in a row. You didn’t get the invite to the girls’ night out you really didn’t want to go to anyway. Obviously, these things happened because we’re not good enough. Never mind someone else knew the hiring manager and was offered the job or the over-tasked waitress was lucky she got a bathroom break. We’re quick to blame ourselves instead of seeing these events from a different perspective. 

4. My feelings don’t matter.

When you’re guilt tripped or frequently manipulated into doing things you’re uncomfortable doing, you’re feeding this lie. The same can be said if you’re constantly putting your own feelings aside to benefit others. Making everyone else happy is easier than rocking the boat, right? If you remember parents or teachers getting on to you for showing anger or sadness, you might believe this lie, too. It’s important to remember all emotions are valid. We have to feel emotions in order to learn how to regulate them. If our anger, sadness, or excitement is whipped out of us, we’re being told our feelings don’t matter. Sure, we shouldn’t be throwing ourselves on the floor in a grocery store when they’re out of our favorite Greek yogurt. The problem lies when you’re so sure your feelings don’t matter, you ignore them entirely. 

5. No one likes me.

One of anxiety’s hidden talents is convincing you everyone hates you. The guy you saw on the walk to your car who didn’t say “hello”? He hates you. Your best friend took an hour to respond to your message when her Facebook shows she’s active now. She actually hates you. Your boss scheduled you on a Saturday. Definitely hates you! And don’t even get me started on your spouse, ’cause they hate you the most! 

In all seriousness, the only good thing about this lie is it rarely strikes on its own. Probably because it’s the most absurd. Anxiety’s special talent is tricking you with the other lies first. Once it takes you down a few notches, it hits you with this one. Next thing you know, you’re alone crying in the bathroom. You know, usually right before something important, so you repeat all of the lies one more time before you pack the diaper bag and load the car. 

Here’s how I fight back.

Knowing where these lies came from gives me the power to silence them. My therapist can take credit for this. She challenged me to remember the first time the lies were true. I wrote a list of times when I didn’t feel safe, couldn’t trust someone, and so on. From there, I picked positive cognitions–positive phrases to use instead. This part was really tough for me. It’s beyond difficult to find positive things to say when you’ve experienced two panic attacks in three days, constantly feel unsafe, think your feelings don’t matter, and so on. Fortunately, my therapist kept a lifeline in her office: a list to pick from. She reminded me I might have to “fake one” until I finally started believing it.

Fair warning, it takes a lot of practice to undo years of thinking this way.

Be gentle with yourself in the process. Writing your positive cognitions down and telling them to a support person can help you challenge these lies. You have the power to disarm them.

“I am safe now.” 
“It’s okay for me to feel this way. Trust is earned, not given.”
“It’s normal to feel down sometimes but I’m doing my best. I am good enough.”
“My feelings may not matter to strangers but they matter to me and the people who love me.”
“When I honor my values, the right people will like me.”

Anxiety is an inevitable part of life. A little bit of anxiety can work to our advantage but sometimes, these lies interfere with our routines. Understanding the root cause of the lies can help us form new truths. If your anxiety keeps lying to you, see a therapist. They can teach you tons of tricks to keep these lies in check. You wouldn’t allow a family member or a friend to lie to you day in and day out, so don’t let your anxiety do it, either.

Like this content? Share. Find me on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest!

Related Articles: Dear Anxiety, I’m Not Thinking About You
I Hate To Tell You This, But We’re All Hoarders

22,375 Comments on “5 Lies My Anxiety Tells Me

  1. [url=https://www.skyrevery.com/private-jets/citation-longitude/]Cessna Citation Longitude Private Jet[/url] – more information on our website [url=https://skyrevery.com]skyrevery.com[/url]
    [url=https://skyrevery.com/]Private jet rental[/url] at SkyRevery allows you to use such valuable resource as time most efficiently.
    You are the one who decides where and when your private jet will fly. It is possible to organize and perform a flight between any two civil airports worldwide round the clock. In airports, private jet passengers use special VIP terminals where airport formalities are minimized, and all handling is really fast – you come just 30 minutes before the estimated time of the departure of the rented private jet.
    When you need [url=https://skyrevery.com/]private jet charter[/url] now, we can organise your flight with departure in 3 hours from confirmation.

  2. He Makes Money Online WITHOUT Traffic?

    Most people believe that you need traffic to profit online…
    And for the most part, they’re right!
    Fact is.. 99.99% of methods require you to have traffic.
    And that in itself is the problem..
    Because frankly, getting traffic is a pain in the rear!
    Don’t you agree?
    That’s why I was excited when a good friend told me that he was profiting, but with ZERO traffic.
    I didn’t believe him at first…
    But after he showed me the proof, it’s certainly the real deal!
    I’m curious what your thoughts are.
    Click here to take a look >> https://bit.ly/3mOAfVp
    Please view it before it’s taken down.

  3. [url=https://skyrevery.ru/helicopters/bell_407/]Аренда частного вертолета Bell 407 – SkyRevery[/url] – подробнее на нашем сайте [url=https://skyrevery.ru]skyrevery.ru[/url]
    [url=https://skyrevery.ru/]Аренда частного самолета[/url] с экипажем в компании SkyRevery – это выбор тех, кто ценит свое время и живет по своему расписанию!
    Аренда частного самолета помогает экономить самый важный ресурс – время. Арендовав частный самолет, именно Вы решаете, когда и куда полетите. Для выполнения чартерных рейсов мы предлагаем частные самолеты иностранного производства, гарантирующие высокий уровень комфорта и безопасности полета. Внимательные бортпроводники и высокопрофессиональные пилоты сделают Ваш полет максимально приятным и удобным.
    Когда Вам нужна [url=https://skyrevery.ru/]аренда самолета[/url] срочно, мы можем организовать для Вас вылет по готовности от 3 часов с момента подтверждения.

  4. [url=https://skyrevery.ru/airplanes/citation-m2/]Частный самолет Cessna Citation M2 – SkyRevery[/url] – подробнее на нашем сайте [url=https://skyrevery.ru]skyrevery.ru[/url]
    [url=https://skyrevery.ru/]Аренда частного самолета[/url] с экипажем в компании SkyRevery – это выбор тех, кто ценит свое время и живет по своему расписанию!
    Аренда частного самолета помогает экономить самый важный ресурс – время. Арендовав частный самолет, именно Вы решаете, когда и куда полетите. Для выполнения чартерных рейсов мы предлагаем частные самолеты иностранного производства, гарантирующие высокий уровень комфорта и безопасности полета. Внимательные бортпроводники и высокопрофессиональные пилоты сделают Ваш полет максимально приятным и удобным.
    Когда Вам нужна [url=https://skyrevery.ru/]аренда самолета[/url] срочно, мы можем организовать для Вас вылет по готовности от 3 часов с момента подтверждения.

  5. You can download any of the provided casinos above without any problems. If you download the casino app, it command travail like a standard replication of the power supply place from the movable version. Unfortunately, all the apps you download will only work on Android. Download casino in 1 click from the tabulate, these are the most advanced responsive applications.

    The best bib casino apps as a service to Android
    The difficult is that declaration Android apps and downloading them can be iffy, as Google doesn’t sanction natural money Android casinos to be placed in the On Store.

    Download casino app
    But don’t worry, there is a artless dissolving, you can download the casino app from casinoapk2.xyz.

    As so innumerable users attired in b be committed to been asking nearby casino gaming on their Android phones or tablets. We dug for everyone a tittle to discover you the most desirable casino apps contribution the anyway real boodle experience.

    The most in [url=”https://casinoapk4.xyz”]Android casino[/url], download Pin-up.

    Reviewers check out each relevancy notwithstanding security to secure trust;
    We at one’s desire labourers you find real greenbacks gambling apps with the most beneficent Android apps;
    The casinos extend the pre-eminent choice of games.
    Download True Shekels Casino
    It is not as a last resort effortless to download genuine loot casinos, equivalent on more public smartphones like Samsung Galaxy, HTC Complete or Sony Xperia. So if you want to download the app to out first simoleons, be familiar with all below.

    Our crew ground the prime casinos present excellence gambling for your trick and ran an uptight 25-step verification modify benefit of them.

    On this epoch you drive tumble to an relevancy in spite of Android:

    Acceptable Promotions – We recollect how much players want to take gain of the bonuses, so we made sure that our featured sites tender classy deals representing Android.
    Variety of games. Bad determination is a important minus. We not endorse the app, the diversion portfolio is measureless and varied.
    Deposits – You be in want of as not many restrictions as on when it comes to depositing and withdrawing shin-plasters to your casino app account. We shape reliable that all apps we recommend allow a wide class of payment methods.
    Fleet payouts. All applications put on the market firm payments with authentic fortune, credited to the account in a few hours.
    Sensitive Compatibility – Engage in Apps Anywhere.
    Customer Hold up – To be featured on the Featured Record, we force online casinos to step encompassing and wide-awake customer service.
    Advantages of an online [url=”https://casinoapk4.xyz/skachat-joy-kazino-na-android/”]скачать Джой[/url] app for Android
    Great video graphics and usability in Android apps.
    Circumstance the unvaried marvellous PC experience.
    Excitable access from the application.
    Casino apps – looking looking for the most appropriate
    We check and download casino apps to safeguard they meet enormous standards. The criteria habituated to to selected a casino app are right-minded as stringent as the criteria utilized to approximate a PC casino. Each application has:

    Highest importance graphics;
    Untroubled loading and playing swiftly a in timely fashion;
    Fast payouts.

  6. Yesterday, while I was at work, my cousin stole my apple ipad
    and tested to see if it can survive a forty foot
    drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My iPad
    is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is completely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

  7. Wow, awesome weblog structure! How long have you ever been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The full look of your website is magnificent, as neatly as the content material!

  8. My partner and I absolutely love your blog and find a lot of your post’s to be just what I’m looking for. Does one offer guest writers to write content available for you? I wouldn’t mind composing a post or elaborating on a few of the subjects you write about here. Again, awesome weblog!

  9. Thank you for another informative web site. Where else could I get that type of information written in such an ideal way? I have a project that I am just now working on, and I have been on the look out for such info.

  10. Once I originally commented I clicked the -Notify me when new feedback are added- checkbox and now each time a remark is added I get 4 emails with the identical comment. Is there any method you can take away me from that service? Thanks!

  11. Hi there! I simply would like to give a huge thumbs up for the great data you might have here on this post. I might be coming back to your blog for extra soon.

  12. Hey there! I’m at work browsing your blog from my new apple iphone! Just wanted to say I love reading through your blog and look forward to all your posts! Keep up the great work!

  13. Thanks a lot for sharing this with all of us you really know what you are talking about! Bookmarked. Please also visit my site =). We could have a link exchange contract between us!

  14. Hey just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The words in your
    post seem to be running off the screen in Firefox.
    I’m not sure if this is a formatting issue or something
    to do with browser compatibility but I figured I’d post to let you know.
    The design and style look great though! Hope you get the problem solved soon. Many thanks

  15. Как вы прогнозируете погоду?
    ЛИчно я смотрю вечером на закат, но если ничего не вижу, тогда иду на сайт https://www.gismeteo.ua/ и там получаю весь прогнозируете. И было несколько раз когда сайт был не прав.
    Так что доверй, но проверяй.

  16. Wow that was strange. I just wrote an really long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted to say excellent blog!

  17. Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an incredibly long comment
    but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear.
    Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyways, just wanted to say great

  18. Excellent goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff previous to and you’re just extremely excellent. I really like what you’ve acquired here, certainly like what you’re stating and the way in which you say it. You make it enjoyable and you still take care of to keep it smart. I can’t wait to read far more from you. This is really a tremendous website.

  19. Wow, marvelous blog layout! How long have you been blogging for?
    you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your web
    site is great, as well as the content!

  20. Valuable info. Fortunate me I discovered your website accidentally, and I’m surprised why this coincidence didn’t came about in advance! I bookmarked it.

  21. Wonderful blog! I found it while browsing on Yahoo News. Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Cheers

  22. I have been surfing on-line greater than three hours today, yet I never discovered any fascinating article like yours. It’s beautiful price enough for me. Personally, if all site owners and bloggers made just right content as you did, the web might be much more helpful than ever before.

  23. I’ve been browsing on-line greater than 3 hours as of late, yet I never discovered any interesting article like yours. It is beautiful price enough for me. In my view, if all webmasters and bloggers made excellent content as you probably did, the internet will be much more helpful than ever before.

  24. My programmer is trying to persuade me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the costs. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on several websites for about a year and am concerned about switching to another platform. I have heard good things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can transfer all my wordpress content into it? Any kind of help would be greatly appreciated!

  25. It’s a pity you don’t have a donate button! I’d certainly donate to this superb blog! I suppose for now i’ll settle for book-marking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to brand new updates and will talk about this blog with my Facebook group. Talk soon!

  26. With havin so much written content do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright violation? My site has a lot of completely unique content I’ve either authored myself or outsourced but it appears a lot of it is popping it up all over the web without my permission. Do you know any techniques to help protect against content from being ripped off? I’d definitely appreciate it.

  27. I really like what you guys are up too. This sort of clever work and exposure! Keep up the fantastic works guys I’ve included you guys to my own blogroll.

  28. Thanks for the marvelous posting! I seriously enjoyed reading it, you might be a great author.I will always bookmark your blog and may come back in the future. I want to encourage yourself to continue your great posts, have a nice afternoon!

  29. I am sure you will like this 1site

    The game is more fun when you have as many gems as you want.If you love phone games like this you need to check out this website

  30. Most of the content here is censored, with those obnoxious flesh-colored Tetris bricks masking up all of the best stuff. little asian big tits The site is absolutely free to use, but it does have some non-intrusive ads: from my event it seems there is just one pop-up per user.

  31. What’s Happening i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve discovered It absolutely helpful and it has aided me out loads. I am hoping to contribute & assist different customers like its helped me. Good job.

  32. Thanks a lot for providing individuals with remarkably terrific possiblity to read articles and blog posts from here. It’s always so good plus packed with a great time for me and my office peers to search your website on the least three times in one week to see the fresh secrets you will have. Of course, we are actually contented concerning the outstanding knowledge you give. Some two areas in this posting are unequivocally the most impressive we’ve had.

  33. excellent submit, very informative. I wonder why the opposite experts of this sector don’t notice this. You should proceed your writing. I am confident, you’ve a great readers’ base already!

  34. Hi there, just became alert to your blog through Google, and found that it’s truly informative. I am going to watch out for brussels. I will appreciate if you continue this in future. A lot of people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

  35. Hey fantastic blog! Doeѕ unning a blog like thjs require a large amount of worк?
    Ӏ’ve very littⅼe expertise in computeг programming
    Ƅut I had been hoping to start mу own blog іn the near future.
    Anywaу, іf ʏou have ɑny recommendations oг tips for
    new blog owners ⲣlease share. I knoᴡ tis is ߋff subjedt nevertheless I juѕt wantеd tⲟ
    ask. Many tһanks!

    Feel frse to visit my weeb site; بازی های اسلات

  36. Hey there wօuld үօu mind letting me knw whіch webhost yⲟu’re uѕing?
    I’ve loaded your blog іn 3 complestely dіfferent browsers and Ӏ
    must sаy tһis blog loads a lot faster then moѕt.
    Ϲan yߋu recommend a goodd web hosting provider аt a reasonable price?
    Cheers, Ӏ ɑppreciate it!

    Look at my web psge :: 如何赢得老虎机

  37. Hey, you used to write wonderful, but the last several posts have been kinda boring… I miss your tremendous writings. Past few posts are just a bit out of track! come on!

  38. Valuable іnformation. Lucky me І discovered yߋur web
    site bу accident, and I am shocked ᴡhy tһis coincidence
    ⅾiɗ not ϲame ab᧐ut eɑrlier! I bookmarked

    Μy hօmepage :: 免费阅读

  39. Hi, Neat post. There’s an issue along with your website in web explorer, might check this… IE still is the marketplace leader and a huge portion of folks will pass over your great writing because of this problem.

  40. Helⅼo juѕt wаnted to ɡive you a quick heads up.
    The worԀs in your content seem tߋo be running off the screen іn Safari.

    I’m noot sսrе іf thios is а formatting issue օr
    something tο do ԝith internet browser compatibility Ьut Ι figured I’d post to ⅼet y᧐u know.
    The design and style ⅼоok ցreat though!

    Hope yⲟu get the issue resolved ѕoon. Kudos

    Look at mmy web blog: अधिक जानकारी प्राप्त करें

  41. Wow! This blog looks just like my old one! It’s on a completely different topic but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Great choice of colors!

  42. Yߋu actuаlly makе it apⲣear reaⅼly easy wіth your presentation Ƅut I to
    fіnd thi topic to be aсtually one ting wһіch I Ƅelieve I’ɗ never understand.
    Ӏt sort oof feels tоo complicated and very extensive fօr me.

    I аm hɑving a looқ ahead for your next puut սp, I’ll attempt tо get the hag
    ᧐ff it!

    Hеre iis my web blog … krijg meer informatie

  43. hello!,I really like your writing so a lot! percentage we be in contact more about your article on AOL? I need an expert on this area to unravel my problem. May be that’s you! Having a look forward to peer you.

  44. We aге a gгoup of volunteers and starting а neew scheme іn ⲟur community.
    Уour web site prоvided ᥙs ԝith valuable infoгmation to work on. Yoᥙ’ve doine an impressive job annd οur whoⅼe community
    will be grateful to үoᥙ.

    Check outt mу web site … http://cashodres.abo